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Hooligans (via @mswriteok)

In Charlaine Harris’ books, Claude Crane owns a strip club called “Hooligans.” While it appears to be a run-on-the-mill club featuring both female and male strippers, the majority of them are supernatural beings of one type or another. In the later books, it is a haven for elves, goblins, fairies and other non-human folk who need a place to be themselves, albeit in disguise. “Deadlocked” opens with a girl’s night out at the club and we are treated to descriptions of various men, their costumes and the ruckus they cause. I’d like to propose a post-Fangathon night out at Hooligans for all of us who have tried to stave off fangovers by writing every night. Let’s say, next Tuesday night we all meet at Hooligans for a night of fun and frivolity and since it’s just us, maybe we can convince our favorite characters to take it all off for us. I feel strongly that Sookie will sit at the table with us, but for the rest, it’s fair game. Here’s what I’d like to see. Eric Northman: I’d love to see him come out covered in furs that he can drop with tantalizing slowness to “Lady Marmalade.” I’m bring $20 one-dollar bills all for him. I can see now I’m going to be broke by the end of the evening. King Bill Compton: I think he can afford to have one of his suits altered with velcro and come out dressed to the nines. He can strip to ZZ Top’s “Sharp Dressed Man” and I’m probably going to spend $20 on him too. Pam Ravenscroft: She should come out in some teasingly little red leather outfit, complete with whip. Devo’s “Whip It” comes to mind, and though I don’t play for that team, I’d spend $5 or so. The men will pay considerably more. Lafayette Reynold: He’ll come out dressed out in complete chef’s regalia and shake his moneymaker to the Kink’s “Lola.” Another five bucks here. After seeing the MTV movie awards, AlcideHerveaux must come out dressed as a fireman. Holy cow he looked good. His song? “Hungry Like the Wolf” of course. He’ll get about $15 from me. Tara Thornton: She’ll be taking off an animal print ensemble of course to the suggestive moaning of Lou Reed’s “Take a Walk on the Wild Side.” She gets five ones from me. Sam Merlotte: He can make a pair of jeans and a plaid shirt look so good, he gets to dress in full Western gear from hat to boots and of course will strip to “Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy” and he’ll get 15 bucks from me. Jessica Hamby: I loved her Little Red Riding Hood outfit so she can wear that and disrobe to Elvis’ tune “Devil in Disguise.” $5 from me. Hoyt Fortenberry, Jason Stackhouse and J.B. du Rhone: They may not be supernatural, but they are spectacularly handsome, so they will be in the big finale. Hoyt will wear construction gear, Jason a police officer’s uniform and J.B. a military uniform. Because of their outfits, we bring out the Village People’s “Macho Man” for them. That’ll be $5 each. Whoa. That’s $105 before drinks. They’d better be really good.

via Hooligans


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