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Peckish for DOLS (via @JBDuRoneTB)

Based on a lifetime of experience, the South has a thriving population of what I call DOLS (Dear Old Lady of the South). You find them everywhere; neighborhoods, stores, family reunions and, invariably, church.

The identifying characteristics of DOLS include;

– Friendly and happy to see you
– Quick to offer support and wisdom
– Has a dessert they’re famous for
– Produces said famous dessert at social gatherings or when someone is sick or dying
– Sweet, but with a steel hard core you best not mess with
– Knows your family genealogy better than you do

Grandmothers are a good prerequisite for being designated as DOLS, but I must make absolutely clear; simply achieving advanced years does not make one DOLS! Anyone that is a curmudgeon or otherwise grumpy or a busybody are automatically disqualified.

I’ll bet a lot of you are nodding now; you know of which I speak. Have you also noticed that Bon Temps has a marked lack of DOLS to be a small town in the South?

The most obvious DOLS in Bon Temps was Gran. She is such a familiar character to me; I’ve known dozens like her in my lifetime. In my revisit of Season 1, I realized how much I missed her contribution to the feel of the show. After her passing, there was a complete absence of DOLS on True Blood.

Miss Caroline Bellefluer shows promise as a DOLS, but I’m reserving judgement for now. She has a chocolate cake, which is a check mark in her favor. She deftly handled the situation with Bill and Portia, which also helps. I hope she returns to future episodes to firm up my classification of her.

Maxine Fortenberry? Non-starter. I couldn’t drink her into being a DOLS.

Jane Bodehouse? She can’t drink herself into being a DOLS.

Is there anyone I’m missing?

Poor Sookie needs to attach herself to a DOLS to work through her issues. A DOLS could straighten her out in a single afternoon.

And I could use a DOLS right about now. I’m peckish for a signature dessert.

via Peckish for DOLS.

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